Nightmares

When I was little I used to have a problem having "night terrors".... I can still vividly remember waking up, in a dream, seeing all of my dream and reality around me at the same time. The last one I can remember from growing up was when I was living with my dad at about age 14. I had a dream I was in some sort of game, kinda like a video game only scarier, and there were these disks in the air that I had to jump to, or I would die. So, As Im sleeping I stand up on my bed and begin jumping on these disks... It sounds hillarious, and kindof is when I look back. But at the time it wasnt. My dad woke up and came into the room and asked me what I was doing. I told him I had to jump or I was going to die. He immediatly knew what was going on and went to fetch me some water. I followed. Only he walked down the stairs, and I jumped down the entire flight of stairs. I remember screaming at him asking him to take me to the hospital because I was so scared of dying. Shortly after, I woke up from the night terror, and calmed down and went to bed.  This is just an example of one I can remember, pretty vividly.

Sterling has woke up 2 times in the past month with nightmares. He wakes up screaming bloody murder, Michael and I run in, and he immediatly grabs on to us trembling. He did this for the second time last night. He just let me cuddle with him on the couch, barely moving for a half an hour.... and for those of you that know my son he is so high strung that doesnt happen often.

Im so terrifed that this is something somewhat genetic. I hope that he doesnt get this from me and that its normal for him to have nightmares. I just dont know what a 16 month old could be dreaming of that is scary?

We have another nightmare problem in our house also... Since Michael got home from Iraq he has nightmares of being back over there. Sometimes its just the little mumbling of words, asking me to go get the sniper riffle or telling me about his mission.... I always just wake up and answer him like Im there with him, hoping that he will just go back to sleep like normal. But then there are the times where he wakes up trembling, his entire body as if he is having a seizure, he will start crying and I will have to carefully try to wake him up. Just like Sterling, I hold him and wait untill he doses off to sleep. The 4th of July is the worst. Michael hears fireworks outside while we are sleeping and wakes up thinking he is in a war zone. So, while the United States is celebrating our Nations independance, Im worried to leave the man that Fought for our country at home alone while Im at work, in fear that he will wake up in terror and have no one here to comfort him. We can no longer enjoy the 4th of July like we used to. It has now become a dreaded holiday. Isnt it ironic? We are so proud to be Americans, So proud of my husbands fight for our county, So proud of the ones that we lost and the ones that made it home.... yet, we can't enjoy the one holiday that really represents that. As the wife of a soldier, I must admit, this is more than I bargained for, but Im so proud of him and I know that this is a small reprocussion of the sacrafises that they have made.“Those with the greatest awareness have the greatest nightmares.”  Mahatma Gandhi

Well, On a side note our family has had an aweful cold for over a week now. It has mostly affected Mike and Sterling, but The last few days its been a little rough on me. Im going to return to work today, (working my 12 hour shift) and hope that my voice stays in tact and that I can keep my energy levels up to par. Im going to go to the doctor on monday and see if she can perscribe us something.

Thats all for now. Off to go be SUPER MOM! Fighting Laundry and dishes, moping and dusting, one day at a time! Duh duh Duuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh! (super mom music).

God Bless,
Molly